I was eagerly waiting to talk about this topic of real confidence vs career confidence which is key to understanding the actual self-confidence level in an individual.
In this day and age, this is becoming a huge conversation of topic especially due to the effects of social media on us all and the younger generations. So, as I got busy with my technology business, I decided to talk about confidence and similar professional support conversations once a month. I held these on live sessions where I took questions and answered them to my best ability. These sessions are recorded for anyone to access at a later point. Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZu__t59-bY
Over my 13 years of total career, I have spent 9 – 10 years in Recruitment and HR, Change and Transformation working with people, numbers and technologies. In the same time, I qualified as a licensed career counsellor and personal coach. I have worked with numerous individuals mentoring and supporting career conversations including confidence and change.
Real Confidence vs Career Confidence
Over the years I have noticed there is a key difference in life itself, and life that is all about career and professional success. We have misinterpreted largely the definition of success, true confidence and empathy into a variety of nonsensical and impractical survival loops often driven to satisfy status quo.
The first was about an individual’s confidence level. Considering these days we misunderstand confidence with professional success and clarity of thoughts with social media likes, for what is the contrary of both in reality. Our perceptions are powerful and so is our life around us. Despite all the confidence and success “professionally” why do people find themselves so unhappy and dissatisfied? There is always something missing, isn’t there?
What if I told you that you are lacking a lot of ‘personal oomph’ in my words, but more practically we have forgotten what life is meant to be all about. It is not about survival at all, it is about evolution and progress of mind, body and soul.
Who you are vs what you do
Personal oomph is made up of a few things and the most important one is ‘you’. Who are you? What do you like? Etc. Every time I ask someone “who are you?” the response I get is “I am a blah blah blah in an xyz company”.
Well, that is precisely the problem, because that is not who you are, that is what you do. Are you getting my point? Your work doesn’t define you, your family doesn’t define you, your status doesn’t define you and your social media following doesn’t define you.
Confidence that does only exists in the presence of the above, is no confidence at all. Real confidence is that which truly just makes you feel at peace and joy within you despite all your surrounding circumstances. You know within yourself nothing is permanent, including your problems.
Are you confused? Let me clarify what I mean by showing the factors that build ‘Real confidence’ of our being in this 3d physical and material world.
1.) Personal / Individual / Me and my confidence <you as a person>
2.) Family and friends support and relationships <your immediate surrounding>
3.) Financials i.e. professional and money success <you only!>
4.) Professional i.e. a part of your confidence not the heart of your being and existence.
For a balanced person with real confidence, you will have 25% or equal points for each of the above factors. The way to gauge this is to conduct a simple exercise explained in my video. (Session 1 recap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZu__t59-bY) To understand this exercise better, go through the first 20minutes of my video where I discuss this topic in detail and explain how you can understand your current confidence level.
Following this, there are some Q&As from the questions received in advance and from the attendees on the day summarized here very briefly;
From the challenge of accepting achievements as a female senior manager, to struggling with saying “no” as a graduate, challenges that creep up when one partner is super ambitious and other doesn’t feel that they are there and finally the challenge of not being satisfied and always wanting to do better for your business and clients which is commendable. My answers and the comments of the attendees of the session will help if you or someone you know may be going through the same situations and challenges so I hope you find it useful.